i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize