i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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