This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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