I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
