Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
