Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
