Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
