Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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