Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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