At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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