Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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