So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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