Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
