I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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