can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
