Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
