it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
