I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
