you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize