I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
