I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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