All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
