I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize