you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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