If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
