And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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