I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
