If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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