My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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