Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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