Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
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He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
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Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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