I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
