apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize