can u get pink eye on your cock?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
