I forgot how hot balto sounded
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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