they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
