my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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