is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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