where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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