Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
