I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
