morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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