What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
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The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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