I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
