why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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