is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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