Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
