I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
