she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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