I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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