I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize