Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
