her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
