spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
