Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
