So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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