You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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