I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
