Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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