woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
third nipple confirmed
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
