So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
